By Annmarie Early

Bella felt her first—the hawk that inhabits the wooded park near my house—sitting proudly on the branch just above our head. I was deep in listening to the guidance I was hearing about rightness of scheduling and the yielding that is required in this season of unraveling, and there she was.

 Bella’s body went on alert, completely still as if the reverence for the of Hawk communicated power and demanded attention.  Hawk was unaware of us as she sat— looking outward and I imagine sensing inward to rightness her own next movements— regal and relaxed in here and now. No reflection or assessment needed.  She was simply Hawk and Bella simply dog in some larger aware expanse that was holding us all.

 We stood for a number of moments caught in the beingness of it all and then she took off again to another nearby tree.  We walked ahead as I looked up into the evergreen branches straining to see where she landed, and again it was Bella that sensed her and she now sensing us took off again into the air and soared away.

 At the very moment of Hawk attending a question of beingness was rising within my listening.  So many labels have already been removed and containers released.  Could there really be more yielding that is undoing my life below the foundations of ground into the very roots that hold me planted in this earth?  This new surrender could never have been conceived of by me for it is surprising, swift, and baffling.  Overnight my life has gone from every hour scheduled to a sea of open space with an awareness today of how this new ego release is dismantling some unconscious construct in me about work and money and expectation. I could feel on this morning the voice that guides me saying, “Simply allow.  Trust the process. Not seeing is part of what’s needed for this release.”  In that moment a sigh of release unearthed through the breath, quickly followed by the catch of panic with a tumbling forth of questions, “But, how will I survive? Is there something I should be doing? What if this is simply crazy?”  Worth, value, unknowing, fear.  “There is a whole new way.”

 This morning I was noticing the charge—always in a hurry, need to move quickly. Too many things, not enough time.  I am needed. I have to be there.  There is only one way, so keep doing it.  Look at how even in your steps up the hill this morning you feel pressed, urgency. So, I slowed and noticed the very slight push within me that was one slight step beyond this Now and in the very next step there she was. Being Hawk.

 I felt her and I got it. My mind can’t tell you what that means, but the transmission of beingness was received.  I walked on even more present in the walk that was walking me this day.  As I sit and write, I sit and write and I am here. I don’t know much more than that except that every once in a while a question rises and presses for an answer about “what to do.” Back into this moment through the breath. Just like the Hawk. I see her in my vision and I feel her presence. Hawk Being. And so it is.