No Longer Against

Annmarie Early

You may not notice it, the subtle push that is the hallmark of against—either/or, us/them, peace/discontent.  It can be so woven within the fabric of existence that life without it seems empty. The world is built upon against structures where the conception of no conflict feels like a lofty pipe dream.  Only those who are outside of reality imagine a world without against.

It has thinned within me through this process of undoing, the places where my boundaries meet the boundaries of the world and tension rises. Tension isn’t necessarily conflict.  It can be the movement that rubs— like a torn nail caught on fabric— that snags and pulls, even if just a little. That’s the funny thing about against.  It is more about boundary maintenance and definition of self that sustains it than the visible manifestations it creates.  The conflict or push at others is the outcome of the snag, not the origin.

 Against is the landscape of the self. The more of me that needs to be maintained, the more against.  The more I name what and who I am, the more need for against.  The more I feel my ‘You’ threatened in some way—large or very, very small—against arises within me.

 How do I know me if there is no you?  How do I define my space, my territory to inhabit, if I don’t know where I end and you begin? If I don’t define me as something, then I must be nothing, right?

 And that is the place. There just isn’t as much to push against, without as much me in the picture. The more my identification with my ‘You’ thins, the less need I have to feel my own boundaries and to maintain them.  The space of yielding and allowing is the landscape of no more against—for from within divine union everything is connected.  Everything simply is. 

 As we allow all to be as it is in this moment— fully present and available, no longer compelled to define and draw boundaries around self—the more relaxing arrives. For, to be in this moment completely is oneness that awaits us all.